November 1996 Newsletter

Breaking Free November 1996

Seeds of Change

On a recent trip to Illinois I visited my friend Randy Kuhlemeier. I was on my way to Chicago to help out with, The Weekend of Champions, at the Cook County Jail. In an earlier phone conservation with Randy I learned that he and his wife, Lorna, would be attending a corn exhibition south of Chicago. Since I would be traveling in that area on that day we agreed to meet at the corn show. Being a city boy I know absolutely nothing about corn. Therefore as we were looking over the different rows of corn I had to ask a lot of questions like, "what does hybrid mean?" and, "what is meant by the term inbred?" Randy and some of the other growers patiently explained to me the process of creating a better breed of corn. Actually it was mostly Randy but other growers were, more or less, confirming and adding to the story as well. It was a beautiful autumn day and the smell of mature corn coupled with the rustle of the breeze brought about a wonderful sense of completeness. As the story unfolded I learned that mature corn has silk on the ears, this is the female spores. The tassles on the top of the stalk are the male spores. My friends told me that to inbreed corn you must isolate it from all the other corn so that it cannot pollenate with any other corn. Then each year you dash the top of the stalk against the silk on the ear. This is called inbreeding . They told me that it takes 7 years for a seed to become pure. "Seven years?" I asked, as something began to stir inside of me. "Well actually it takes some where between 6 and 8 years. It varies so we just use 7 years because that’s pretty close." Replied Randy. "Of course you have to set it apart from the other corn so that the pollen does not get mixed in with it." Replied one of the growers. "What happens after 7 years?" I asked. "Then you can cross breed it with another inbred and it makes a better grade of corn." He replied. "That’s what God did!" I proclaimed excitedly. "What do you mean?" Asked Randy who seemed surprised at my enthusiam. "That’s what the entire bible is about," I said. "Adam and Eve sinned and this brought death and sin into the world. Later on God told Noah to build an ark so that He could save his family because the whole human race was going to perish because of sin. In the passage of time the citizens of earth built a tower and tried to get to heaven in their own selfish way and God scattered them by confounding their language. More time passed and God spoke to Abram and said, ‘...go forth from your country, and from your relatives and from your father’s house, to the land which I will show you." (Gen.12:1) "God was preparing to fulfill the promise He gave to Adam when he spoke to him about a seed in Gen. 3:15," "And I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your seed and her seed;..." Abraham was the progenitor of the ‘children of promise.’ That’s what the Old and the New Testaments are all about. The Old Testament traces the family tree of Jesus Christ. While the New Testament identifies the person of Jesus Christ as being the Word of God." ‘And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us. (John 1:14a;) For you have been born again. That is, through the living and abiding word of God. For, all flesh is like grass, and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower falls off, but the word of the Lord abides forever. And this is the word which was preached to you. (1 Peter 1:23-25)

Therefore just as the farmer consecrates his crop when he wants to make it better even so we also must give ourselves to God. We must set Self aside and submit our will to God so that He can make us over into a vessel that is fit to be used. We are worth much more than a stalk of corn. The bible clearly stares that, (1) Jesus is the Word, (2) the word is a seed, and (3) the imperishable seed took on flesh and gave Himself willingly on a cruel cross for my sins and yours. This is what makes the Christian faith stand head and shoulders above any other. No one else claimed to be God. No other religion teaches that you even need a Savior. The truth that Christ died for our sins. That He is the only Way for us to have forgiveness for our sins. And the fact that he is Life eternal is what sets true believers apart from false doctrines which have permeated our society." "And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men, by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12 NASB) Therefore be sure you are saved!"

The Grapevine

Our correspondence school at Heritage Baptist Church is continuing to grow under the leadership of Keith Brawe and Kenn Gundersen. We are still in need of a person to oversee the administration of the overall operation. Pray for us.

I started having what I call Core group meetings in my home. We are meeting every other Saturday and the Lord is in attendance. The meetings are for Christian offenders and ex-offenders at different stages of their growth. Our focus is on turning our lives over to the Lord through prayer. We are trying to keep an open forum where those that need help can feel free to open up and allow us to pray for them and exhort them to persevere in the things of God.

In mid October all the staff at Justice Linc met at the Triple Creek Ranch in Galena, Illinois for a 3 day retreat. The Justice Linc staff consists of 11 people including the wives who also work in the ministry.

We had a good time of fellowship and getting to know what each one does and what our goals are for the ministry. We are small and scattered but seemingly we are of one mind on what we want to accomplish. There is some difference of opinion on how to accomplish it but we all agreed that God would have His will accomplished.

On my way home I spent the night in Kansas City and the next morning I went to the U.S. Prison at Leavenworth and visited Bobby Green who is serving a sentence there. Bobby has enrolled two other men in our free correspondence bible study courses. Please pray for Bobby as he serves the Lord behind the walls at Leavenworth.

I am now on staff full time and am signing up my ministry friends as Campus Crusade for Christ affiliate staff here in the Oklahoma City area.

I then intend to co-ordinate them into a ministry team to teach and enrol bible students n the prisons. Campus Crusade will supply video cassettes including the "Jesus" video. I need to get a video projector that I can keep here at home and when anyone needs to show teaching films they can come by and pick it up and return it, when they are finished, so the next person can use it. I believe one costs around $2500.00. Please pray with me that the Lord will provide one for us.

I spent the last two days in the Oklahoma State Prison. I visited with 10 men, in a group, on Death Row. I would like to set up a program where Christian guys on Death Row could write to the young gangsters in the Juvenile Detention Center here in Oklahoma City. Another thing I do as I go inside to minister is to get Christian leaders to work with me and to make a commitment to become affiliate staff with Campus Crusade and become my person on the inside to help me disciple other prisoners by teaching them to become teachers.

I hope you like the testimony of Buddy Fesmire that appears on page 3. I have known Buddy for many years and everything he talks about in his testimony is the absolute truth. We had spent the whole day in there talking to guys and telling them what a change Jesus could make and inviting them to the service that night. There are some really strong and powerful demons concentrated around those maximum security prisons and Stringtown is no exception. When Buddy went to the altar I went with him and put my forehead against his head just above his ear. He was really struggling and crying and so I asked what he needed. He told me that he could not get the blood he had shed off of his hands. I called for Roy Clay to come and help me pray. As Roy arrived, I asked Benny Boeck, the preacher, to pray to God to bind the Spirit of evil. These two events caused somewhere near a hundred prisoners to focus on the altar. They were shouting and praising God and commanding the enemy to leave in the name of Jesus. There was victory and peace for Buddy. I warned him that the enemy would return and try to get back in. He told me that he knew he would but thar he would be watchful and on guard. Please remember to pray for Buddy to be strong. He is doing really good still and it has been 4 months now. If anyone wishes to send a prayer gram to him or Bobby their addresses are:

Robert Lee Green #12634-064
P.O. Box 1000
Leavenworth, KS 66048-1000

Felix Buddy Fesmire #76292
P.O. Box 220
Stringtown,OK 74569

See you next month. Thank you for your faithfulness. Don

Testimony of Buddy Fesmire

My name is Buddy Fesmire and I’m a convicted murderer. I came to prison Thirty years ago at the age of 18, sentenced to die in the electric chair. After a night of drugs and alcohol, with my heart full of hatred, I murdered my father, my brother , and a high school friend.

As I put these words to paper I am finally at peace with myself, a peace which comes from my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

For the past thirty years of my life I ran wild in prison, full of hate and guilt, a man unfearing of death and eager to embrace it.

I have looked into the cold and uncaring eyes of Cain, I also murdered my brother.

I spent twenty-six years behind the high walls of the maximum security prison in McAlester, Oklahoma, the first five of those years on death row. On two different occasions I came within one day of being executed. For those twenty-six years I climbed the violent steps in prison society to finally become one of its most violent and feared members.

Almighty God is alive and full of love and mercy, for He reached into the very jaws of hell, pulled me back onto my feet and placed me on solid ground. For thirty years I washed my hands in the hottest water I could stand, even soaked them for hours in pure bleach, but never was I able to wash away the blood from my hands; Yet with one Word Jesus Christ washed me clean and set me free.

I had gone to the chapel that night to visit with some old friends. Two of them were ex-cons who were now in the ministry, men I had used drugs with and been in violent acts with behind the walls of " Big Mac," in McAlester.

I saw a very strange look in their eyes that I had never seen before; the old look of fear and hopelessness wasn’t there anymore, and I wanted to know why. As we walked to the chapel, they spoke to me about Jesus and what miracles He had done in their lives; but in me was the fear that God would not forgive me; because I was a murderer many times over, I was Cain. As I sat there in the chapel I was unaware of what the preacher was saying, for my heart was crying out to God and the pain was more than I could bear. "You’re no good; God doesn’t want you; you killed you’re father and brother; there is no forgiveness for you." Even as these words rolled through my mind, I heard a voice in my heart, "Come home, son, I have always loved you."

As we all stood to sing, "Amazing Grace," all around me men were singing, unaware of the war raging within me. "Come home, son, I’ve always loved you," "You’re no good; there’s no forgiveness for men like you," said another voice. Gently the Lord was calling me home, but Satan held on tight, and I was afraid to take that first step. As I stood there afraid and unsure of what to do, Almighty God hauled off and kicked me squarely in the seat of my pants. Like one shot out of a cannon, I ran to the altar and fell to my knees. The tears came out like a flood, and I cried out the pain, fear, grief and guilt that I had carried around for forty-seven years. As I knelt there before the altar crying my heart out to God, my old friends and new brothers in Christ gathered around me, and as voices rose to heaven, God heard every one, and I know the angels were rejoicing, for a son had come home. When I stood up from the altar, I was empty of all the filth within me, and God was filling me with his love and mercy. As I took a step back from the altar my foot touched something and I fell against the side of the chapel. I looked down to see what had tripped me, and what I saw was Buddy Fesmire lying there. Yes, my body was lying there before the altar, old and wrinkled, covered with scars and filth, open sores that reeked of the stench of hell; but it was the old Buddy lying there before me.

As I stood there staring at what I had been, in my heart I heard the voice of God say, "What you were is gone forever. I cast it forever from me." Slowly that which was once me began to disappear. I was really free.

There is forgiveness and mercy for all who call upon the name of the Lord, for I am proof of that. I ran for forty-seven years from God, sure that He could never forgive me, a murderer, a man who carried the mark of Cain. Yet in a small prison chapel, I found forgiveness. I can say with Paul, in 1 Timothy 1:15. I am the chief sinner, yet in God, I found forgiveness and mercy and became a new creature in Christ, ready and willing to take up the cross and follow my Lord Jesus Christ.

Yes for my crimes against society, I may die an old man in prison, but I stand with the Lord as a member of his church, freed of the past and assured of eternal life. My name is written in the Book of Life, and no man can mark out my name, for Christ is in me; old things are passed away; all things are become new.

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